it's kind of cool watching a junior person develop. in some instances, you help them and prevent disasters you once had to recover from, and in other cases, you see them learn some of the same lessons you learned along the way.
my bosses mantra? let people fail. how else are they supposed to learn? in our business, we're not saving lives. there's not a human cost - so we allow for failure to take place although it's hard, for me at least, to make decisions about situations where i should or shouldn't intervene. i'm learning to let go some though.
an interesting lesson i've seen unfold right before my eyes recently? dealing with managers or people generally who fish for information. you know those types - right? they call you with a question - you give them an answer. they don't like what you've shared so they call one of your colleagues asking a question, hoping for another answer. sometimes they call above you, sometimes they call around you - but they call around. they may be trying to build a case. they may be trying to build allies. they may be desperate and afraid to admit they made a mistake or have dug themselves into a whole. and so they look for information. and sometimes, they'll even take some of what you said, manipulate your words slightly, and try to work that into receiving a different answer from your colleague or manager.
"but jessica said..."
or they'll take pieces of what you said, pieces of what your colleage said, pieces of what your manager said - select pieces from each story they heard - and construct a tableau that fits nicely into their reality. it's so convenient to do that, you know?
i've been there before, trapped in that situation - but you can only let that happen once. so to avoid it? communicate. even if it means over communicating. i like brnging everyone together - one big happy family all in the same room. "i want to make sure we're all on the same page and that there's no confusion..." is how that conversation always starts out. it's uncomfortable. you can watch people's eyes shift so as to avoid piercing stares. but a funny thing happens when people talk to each other - without an agenda, without any manipulation, with complete trust and sincerity. you get on the same page - you uncover the manipulators and cheaters. you uncover those information fishers who are trying to work their way around you or twist your words into an outcome they want but maybe isn't right. and slowly, those information fishers start to feel caught, trapped and you begin to pick away at their game.
so talk. talk loudly, talk frequently, but talk. and you'll cover the truth.
my bosses mantra? let people fail. how else are they supposed to learn? in our business, we're not saving lives. there's not a human cost - so we allow for failure to take place although it's hard, for me at least, to make decisions about situations where i should or shouldn't intervene. i'm learning to let go some though.
an interesting lesson i've seen unfold right before my eyes recently? dealing with managers or people generally who fish for information. you know those types - right? they call you with a question - you give them an answer. they don't like what you've shared so they call one of your colleagues asking a question, hoping for another answer. sometimes they call above you, sometimes they call around you - but they call around. they may be trying to build a case. they may be trying to build allies. they may be desperate and afraid to admit they made a mistake or have dug themselves into a whole. and so they look for information. and sometimes, they'll even take some of what you said, manipulate your words slightly, and try to work that into receiving a different answer from your colleague or manager.
"but jessica said..."
or they'll take pieces of what you said, pieces of what your colleage said, pieces of what your manager said - select pieces from each story they heard - and construct a tableau that fits nicely into their reality. it's so convenient to do that, you know?
i've been there before, trapped in that situation - but you can only let that happen once. so to avoid it? communicate. even if it means over communicating. i like brnging everyone together - one big happy family all in the same room. "i want to make sure we're all on the same page and that there's no confusion..." is how that conversation always starts out. it's uncomfortable. you can watch people's eyes shift so as to avoid piercing stares. but a funny thing happens when people talk to each other - without an agenda, without any manipulation, with complete trust and sincerity. you get on the same page - you uncover the manipulators and cheaters. you uncover those information fishers who are trying to work their way around you or twist your words into an outcome they want but maybe isn't right. and slowly, those information fishers start to feel caught, trapped and you begin to pick away at their game.
so talk. talk loudly, talk frequently, but talk. and you'll cover the truth.
This very thing happened to me about 3 weeks ago. I answered a question about a process to an executive who interpreted this as the approval to go ahead with his plan. Turns out, the higher ups had told him no but it was just like you say -- "but jessica said..." I screwed up by not communicating the conversation with my team and it came back to get me. Got reamed and found myself in the position of having to let the dust settle before I could provide clarity and repair my rep. Lesson learned, loud & clear.
Posted by: lisamacabu | Tuesday, 07 July 2009 at 08:28 AM
I used to abhor answer-shopping, still do when done with dishonest manipulative intent. However, there are times when this really becomes a running dialogue, an ongoing exchange of ideas informally coalesced.
My similar situtation is presented on my post Greatest Weakness @ http://mainehrcafe.com/2009/07/11/greatest-weakness/
Posted by: RMSmithJr | Sunday, 12 July 2009 at 06:57 AM